I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
