You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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