I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
