Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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