whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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