is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
