You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
