I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
