His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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