Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
