i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
That's when you crack a 10am beer
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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