i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
