she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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