i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize