Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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