No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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