Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
