I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
