i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
please come you make the beer taste better
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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