so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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