So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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