Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
