I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
