i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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