It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
handjob tips. give me some.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
