Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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