I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
