You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
