lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
