I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
