it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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