Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
