6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
