We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
