no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
