you would pick up someone in the library
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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