Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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