it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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