I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
