i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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