belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
