dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
