Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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