i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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