Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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