You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
