Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
