Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
