today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
