allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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