I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Four minutes until I can fart!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize