So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
