I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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