reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
