My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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