You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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