so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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