I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
