Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
