used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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