New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
