Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
