I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
