I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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