I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
