so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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