I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
