i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
