I bet he comes in French.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
