I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
